First month as a new mum….the things they don’t tell you


Wow. I don’t think anyone or anything can prepare you for the reality of motherhood.

All the books you could read, all those parenting magazines, all the online forums, all the chats with other mums before me, still, nothing really prepared me for how hard it really was when baby arrived.

Now everyone’s experiences are different and there is obviously babies out there that are easy or mothers who have transitioned easily into having a new baby, but now after speaking to other mums on how hard it really was, I don’t think it gets discussed enough in the open.

I think about those 6 week antenatal classes that I went to week in and week out. 2 hours every week to prepare you for labour and to be honest, I think labour was easy compared to the aftermath. I really think those classes should focus on getting new mums prepared for the shock of having a baby in your life.

I fell into a false hope that it was going to be semi-hard only. I felt this because I had such an easy pregnancy and whilst other mums complained about this pain and that pain, I had nothing bad to say. I loved being pregnant. I loved every moment and because of that, I felt that having the baby here wasn’t going to be such a hard transition.

Now before I scare any new mums off, I have to say that the reason it was so hard having bub at the time was because she was suffering from reflux and we had no idea at the time.

Basically the first 2 weeks of having baby was a breeze! Now when I say breeze I mean it was easier than what was to come.

In the first 2 weeks, baby would cry, I would change her nappy, breastfeed her and she would fall back asleep on her own. Great! Even though she was feeding every 2-3 hours it didn’t matter because as soon as she went to sleep, I would fall asleep too and catch up on some much-needed sleep.

But what they don’t tell you is the loss of independence when you bring baby home. And its funny because I think its something that you seriously take for granted. Well I sure did.

Below is what I found really hard to adjust to:

1. Having a shower

I couldn’t have a shower until my partner came home from work which meant on most days I was having a shower at 6 or 7pm at night. She was so small that I was so paranoid to leave her unattended so I refused to have a shower unless someone was watching her. This was terrible for me because a shower always helped me get going for the day and obviously I would then get changed into clean clothes but because I couldn’t have a shower, I ended up in my PJs’ all day which kept me in a constant state of tiredness.

2. Paranoia

That’s another thing no one tells you, how paranoid you get as a new mum! I did not sleep well at all those first few weeks and it wasn’t because of bub, She was sleeping just fine, but my own paranoia. You hear so much about SIDS and what not to do, but then it instills this horror in you that what if even after doing all the right things, there is still a chance that something can happen to your baby while she was sleeping?! So I would stay up listening and checking in on her to make sure she was breathing and ok. That obviously takes a toll on your sleeping.

3. Not being able to leave the house  

Now I know there are mothers out there who take their baby out in the first few weeks and don’t even think about it, but my GP and obstetrician both recommended that given that our baby was being born in winter and this year in particular there was a lot of cases of meningococcal, I should keep baby home until she gets her vaccinations. So on top of the paranoia, there was no way I was going to risk my bub getting sick, which meant I was stuck at home all day, everyday, and at first I didn’t mind in the slightest but after it becomes day in and day out, well it starts getting to you in a big way. This goes back to your loss of independence. Before all you did was grab your handbag and keys and you were out the door. Now if I wanted to leave the house, again I had to wait for my partner to be home, and really by that time, all I could do was go to the shops down the road just to have a reason to leave the house and then be back in time for baby’s next feed.

4, Adjusting your life to baby’s needs

I don’t know why I thought baby would come along and she would just slot into OUR lives, but this was not the case at all. We had to change our lives for her. These babies are on a constant routine all day. You basically keep your eye on the clock to know when she will be up next and to be prepared for a feed, change and burp.

Me and my partner miss the little things like having dinner together! It always turns out that baby was awake as we wanted to eat so one of us ate quickly whilst the other fed bub and then once baby was finished feeding than swap and let the other eat while the other took care of bub.

This was also the case when it came to us watching our favourite TV shows or movies. The amount of times we have to press pause as baby cries and we have to attend to her. Well, watching a movie at home is a luxury these days.

5. Sleep 

Now I know this is an obvious one but unless you have functioned on 2-3 hours sleep day in and day out, then I don’t think you truly know the meaning of exhaustion. Plus as much as people tell you to sleep when baby sleeps, it’s not that easy. First I found it hard to fall back asleep once a crying baby wakes you up and you have to get out of bed to do things. Secondly you need to eat, pay bills, check messages/phone calls/emails, have a shower, wash baby clothes,  so you can’t always go back to sleep when you are supposed to! So by the end of the day, you have gone through the day with only 2-3 hours and when that starts happening every day, well that can really take a toll on your emotional and mental state.

6. Having a sick baby 

When my little girl was 2 weeks old, she began suffering from reflux but we had no idea at the time. This is when it all went downhill for me. She began crying. All the time. Day and night. Especially after a feed. She would lie there howling and screaming and we had no idea why and it was relentless. No matter what we did to try to calm her down, nothing would work. And because of the crying, she stopped sleeping. Well sleeping as much as she did before and she didn’t fall asleep anymore. It was a horrifying experience and I wish I was stronger in getting her diagnosed, because reflux is one of those things that you can’t exactly get tested for and its the symptoms of the baby that the GP or pediatrician picks up on. What made it worse for me is that I would call those 24 hour parenting hotlines and speak to midwives and every time I would tell them that my baby won’t stop crying I would get this response “its normal for babies to cry”.

As a new mum, this response took a real toll on my self-esteem as a mother. I started thinking to myself “wow I must really suck at being a mother if I can’t handle my baby crying”.

And each day it got worse and worse. The crying was relentless and the non-sleeping got worse which meant I was getting no sleep as well.

I would find myself crying with my baby because I didn’t know how to stop her and I started to doubt myself. I thought “maybe I wasn’t cut out for this. What was I thinking bringing a baby into my life when I can’t even take care of her properly”.

It was horrible and I felt like I was in a sinking hole. It just got worse and worse.

I wasn’t eating properly, I was completely and utterly drained and I felt like crap. Not only that but the misery that I felt stopped me from bonding with my baby. How could I bond with her when all she did was cried! How could I bond with her when I sucked as a mother!

My partner would catch me in the nursery crying with her and would try to help but we were both clueless and thought this crying was normal because of what I was told on the phone (one piece of advice to new mums, if it doesn’t seem normal, persevere in getting your baby checked out. That was a huge mistake on my part that I paid a heavy price for).

It was week 4 before I finally decided to take my baby to the GP.

I was in such a state at that point, that I think I fell into post-natal depression but had no idea at the time. I was in just a miserable state every day and I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. All I could think about was how miserable this baby was making me feel.

I had a concept in my head before baby came along, that she was going to bring our little family together, bring so much happiness into our lives, and whilst I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, she was going to be so sweet. But the opposite was in fact happening and it was soul-destroying.

But there is a happy ending to this story! Truly. She is the most precious amazing baby now and that’s because we finally get the right diagnosis and got her on the medication she needed.

But I just want new mums to know that a) yes it isn’t easy and never doubt your abilities and b) things do get easier. I used to hear this all the time but because I was in such a state I couldn’t believe it would get better but it does.

In my next post I will go into details of month 2 with bub and more details around reflux because as I have found out along the way, it’s really common amongst babies.



How was your first month as a new mum? Similar? Different? If you are currently pregnant, how do you envision your life with a new baby? 


Should you do a maternity photo shoot?


I had no interest in organising a maternity photo shoot when someone asked me.

I had an image of the typical photos that you see from a maternity shoot in my head. I never felt comfortable taking photos of my naked body especially since a lot of the maternity photos have naked bellies or just a sheet covering their body. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that pre-pregnant and let alone being pregnant.

Don’t get me wrong, I think the pregnant body is gorgeous but I also find it a very personal choice on whether you feel comfortable showing off your naked belly or taking photos of it.

Then I had another mother tell me one thing that I will never forget

“this is an incredible time of your life and you’re only pregnant for the first time once and your body is doing amazing things, a photo shoot would allow you and your partner to capture this amazing moment in your life and you can look back and see the beautiful way that your body has changed to give life”.

I walked away and though about what she said. This is true. This is the first time my body is experiencing such an extraordinary change for my baby and what if down the track I would regret not doing it? I think that was my biggest worry. I couldn’t exactly turn back time if I decided to not go ahead with the shoot so I decided to look into it.

As mentioned before, I didn’t want to have photos done of my naked pregnant body but I did want to capture the changes in my body so I decided to jump on Pinterest and see if I could find any maternity photo shoots that would help inspire my own shoot and Pinterest was fantastic in providing me ideas in style, location and what to wear. Below was some of the photos that inspired my own shoot:


So I proceeded to keep on looking for images like above to set the tone of the kind of photo shoot that I wanted and put together my own maternity photo shoot:

  1. Location

As per the images above, I really thought having a natural backdrop like in a park or field would be great for my photo shoot and immediately thought of Centennial Park. The Park is so expansive and has so many different back drops such as lakes, big trees, ponds, flowers, statues and space! Perfect. Some of my own maternity photos below:

V 1

V 27

I would suggest picking a location that you feel comfortable getting photographed at and that gives the ability to give you different backdrops.

2. Clothing, make up and hair

In regards to clothing, my photographer recommended light coloured clothing and something that accentuated my belly. Again Pinterest is great in helping me get ideas on what kind of clothing I should have for my photo shoot. I firstly looked in my closet but I didn’t have anything white or cream that a) fits me and b) gives me the look I was after.

My photographer said I could have a change of clothes in my photo shoot which was a great idea as I thought of getting a white/cream long dress and then another dress in another colour.

I went straight on to ASOS as I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on a dress that was just going to be used for my maternity photo shoot and below are the two dresses that I used for my photo shoot:

V 54V 67

As for my hair and make up, I wanted a really soft natural look so I curled the ends of my hair and pinned it to one side so it dropped down and my make up was soft using bronzer, brown eye liner and pink eyeshadow with pink lipgloss.

3. Choosing my photographer

Once I had an idea of how I wanted my maternity photo shoot to look, I then began searching maternity photo shoot photographers. I jumped on Gumtree as I didn’t want to pay an arm and a leg for a photographer and I knew many up and coming photographers would charge less and do a great job. So I made my ultimate choice based on the photographers website and the kind of photos they took and which best aligned with the kind of photo shoot I was looking for.

I got in touch with the photographer I wanted to go ahead with and she was nice enough to offer to meet with me over coffee to discuss the kind of photo shoot I wanted to and pass on her advice on the shoots she had done. Michelle Purchase from Faure Photography was fantastic and made my photo shoot so much fun and a great day for me and my partner.

4. Props

Another aspect that I saw at many maternity photo shoots was the use of props and I think its a great idea and gives the photos that cuteness and linkage to baby that is due to arrive. Below are some of the props I used in my photo shoot:

V 51 V 29




All in all we had a lot of fun doing our photo shoot and I’m so glad we did it.

They are memories that will be captured forever at such an important moment in our lives.

Entering the dreaded 3rd trimester

3rd trimester

So I have to be completely upfront about this post and confess that the title is misleading when it comes to my own personal experience in regards to my third trimester and my pregnancy in general.

Now that I have finished my pregnancy and have had my little one, I would like to let all newbie mothers know that you don’t have to expect the worse. I entered my pregnancy expecting the worse.

I swore I was going to be a massive whale (by the end of my pregnancy I had only put on 8 kgs. Please note I’m not a skinny person! I am a healthy size 12 pre-pregnancy), I thought I would vomit everyday (I didn’t vomit even once), that I would suffer from heartburn and reflux (didn’t happen even once), that my feet would swell up and I wouldn’t fit in any of my shoes (my feet remained the same size and no swelling up until delivery date), that I wouldn’t be able to sleep properly (up until I began my contractions I was sleeping 8-9 hours a night, but I was getting up several times a night to go to the bathroom) and that every part of my body would be sore (my back was the only sore area and this only happened in the last few weeks of my pregnancy).

My third trimester wasn’t any of the bad things you hear about. I was still sleeping great right up until the end, I didn’t have any swelling on my legs or feet and the only pains I was getting was on my back and that was because my baby was posterior and really it was only in the last few weeks of my pregnancy.

The one thing that I did notice in my last trimester is that I didn’t have the energy that I had in the second trimester. As the weeks went on, I didn’t have the will to do much. Going to work was such a hassle every morning and I was so looking forward to my maternity leave.

I was planning to work up until 3 weeks before my due date but I literally couldn’t last at work during the day and found it so hard to wake up in the mornings that I ended up finishing up a week earlier. Luckily my work was really flexible and was ok when I asked to finish up a week earlier than planned.

Another thing I would suggest you do in your third trimester is getting as much done as possible before baby arrives. All those admin things you haven’t had a chance to do, things you still need to buy for the baby, basically anything that needs to be done, do them even if you don’t feel up to it because trust me when I say this, you don’t get much time to do anything once baby arrives. My little one is 19 days today and I struggle to get much if anything done at times. Having a shower is a feat in itself!

So whilst I know many women out there have had a really hard third trimester and pregnancy in general, I wanted to let mums-to-be know that its not always the case that you have a difficult pregnancy. Just the same way as you don’t always have to think you will have a hard labour.

Every women’s bodies are different when it comes to pregnancy and labour. Something I definitely learnt with my first bub.


Babymoon – is it worth it?



Before I fell pregnant, I have never ever heard of a babymoon.

Once pregnant through mother forums, I started hearing about a babymoon and had to google it because I had no idea what it meant. Then I came across the below definition

a relaxing or romantic holiday taken by parents-to-be before their baby is born.

At first I thought the concept was ridiculous but then as the months of pregnancy went on, I started realising things like “this is the last period in our lives for a while where it’s just me and my partner”.

And as the months went on, the baby started consuming my life! Everything I did was around the baby. Looking at what products I need to buy for baby, going to baby stores, researching online, looking into information around labour, what I can and can’t do whilst pregnant and so on and so forth.

The baby had already consumed both of our lives and the baby hasn’t even arrived yet.

The concept of the babymoon started to make sense.

It was an opportunity for me and my partner to be together. Just the two of us. Away from everything baby related.

I thought for our relationship, it was the perfect thing we could do.

Now I know not a lot of people are in the financial position to do something like this but if you can, I found it one of the most amazing things we could have done.

Now upon researching taking a babymoon, I was surprised to see that there were hotels and resorts out there that actually have babymoon packages! One of the many examples below:

Midweek  Babymoon… …Stay 2 nights,  indulge 1 evening  Dining on the Edge dinner for two,  1 full body   pregnancy massage for mum to be !! …….  $1455 per couple

Surrender to complete relaxation before your new baby arrives with a babymoon.  STAY 2 nights in a Luxury  Suite overlooking the rain forest and ocean . Private  DINING  on the Edge one evening 3 course  chefs menu dinner for two dinner for two includes welcome beverage,  surrender,  one hour full body pregnancy massage for mother to be.  Gourmet Breakfast supplies, home blend toasted muesli, premium yogurt, smoked salmon, eggs, bread,  muffins,   medium roast plunger coffee, tea, herbal tea, fruit juice, mineral water, sparkling wine, cheese,  roasted mixed nuts and a sweet treat !!! sparkling wine.  * (  Dining on the Edge may also be served as a private  lunch)    A  babymoon  less than an hours drive from Sydney CBD  is perfect for parents to enjoy a little time out ……. before baby arrives……!!!

Now for $1455 for 2 nights, we were not prepared to pay.

So I just looked at it as a weekend getaway and looked at hotels/resorts at a cheaper price.


I think something to take into account when booking your babymoon is how far along the pregnancy you should book it especially if your babymoon involves flying. There are many airlines that don’t allow women after a certain point in their pregnancy to fly. Most airlines have a policy of not allowing women to fly anywhere between 32-37 weeks. This is just due to the probability of you going into labour and airplanes not equipped to deliver a baby.

Secondly is taking into account that the further along the pregnancy you are, the more uncomfortable you tend to get and also the more tired you get, so if you are planning a babymoon with the idea of doing some activities, then you don’t want to leave going so late in your pregnancy that you’re too tired.

My suggestion would be to go when you are in your second trimester. This as mentioned in my previous post, is the most energetic and well you will feel out of all three trimesters (every woman is different but this is usually the case).

We went away when I was 6 month pregnant and for me it was the perfect timing.


Due to cost and timing reasons (my partner couldn’t take too much time off work) we decided to go somewhere where it was within driving distance. Also it was summertime so going somewhere along the coast and in front of the beach was where we wanted to go.

I jumped onto which is great for cheap hotel deals and you can also search per area you are looking at going if you don’t have a particular hotel in mind.

We came across the Crowne Plaza Terrigal The location was perfect and it was only 1.5 hr drive from Sydney

MapWe booked in a 3 night 4 day stay and it was perfect!

We had ocean views and we could hear the rolling of the ocean from our bedroom which was so peaceful and amazing.

We were just across the road from the beach.

At 6 months, I didn’t feel too big to be lying in the sun and getting some much-needed Vitamin D and soaking in the fresh air. I still managed to fit into my one piece swimming costume which was great.

The trip was so good for the both of us. I made a conscientious effort to not talk about the baby too much and really we just focused on each other.

We went out for dinner, we walked along the beach, we lied in bed watching TV, we talked about work and about our friends. We laughed and relaxed and I felt so light. So at ease and at peace and I could see that my partner also felt the same.

I think at times because you do talk about the baby so much, it can create a sense of stress on one or both of you when you start thinking about the things you need to do and buy before the baby arrives, so to have a weekend to make us press pause and just look at each other – that sought of experience is priceless.

We had so much fun and I’m so glad we did it. It really rejuvenated the two of us and reminded us to not forget about each other throughout this amazing journey.

To anyone thinking about taking a babymoon, I can’t highly recommend it more!

It was and remains such a memorable time for the two of us. Actually the three of us… 🙂

Your relationship and sex when pregnant

Pregnant couple


So before you continue reading this post, please keep in mind that this is my very personal experience of my own relationship during my pregnancy and by no means am I telling others what to do or not do. Only you know your relationship and your partner/hubby.

I have been with my partner for 2.5 years now and I have to admit that being pregnant has been the most amazing experience for us as a couple and has definitely brought us closer together. I have seen a side of my partner I have never seen before and I’m sure he has also seen a side of me that has come out since I have fallen pregnant.

One piece of advice that I have heard and have not forgotten until this day is the below:

“Do not forget your relationship. It is easy to be consumed by being pregnant and focusing on the baby but don’t forget that you and your partner came first and that without your relationship there would be no baby or family”

My parents got divorced when I was 3 years old and I have no real concept of what its like to be brought up with your mum and dad under the same roof. My partner’s parents on the other hand are still together, and he has no concept of what it would be like to not have his parents together.

As a result and because I would like my own child to be brought up with both his mum and dad together, I will do everything possible to work on this relationship regardless of the ups and downs that will come our way. And my partner also agrees with me which brings me to my first point

1. To always ensure me and my partner are on the same wavelength

I think its easy to lose track of each other’s expectations and hopes as life goes on, so its important to check in with each other and ensure you are both working towards the same goals and not focusing on separate paths.

Now when I found out I was pregnant, you hear so many stories about how pregnant women change because of hormonal changes and basically everything going on in your body, but you also hear how much men end up receiving the brunt of the hormonal changes and having to deal with “bitchy, moody, frustrating, crazy” pregnant partners.

I was very conscious about this and didn’t want to ruin such an amazing experience for the both of us by being moody or irritable. At the end of the day, your partner will never completely understand what you are going through and whilst they may empathise, starting fights with them or being bitchy towards them does not help either you or him. This brings me to point number two:

2. When I don’t feel great and moody, take time out on my own and tell my partner “I’m just tired”

I have to admit that throughout my pregnancy, my partner has been a fantastic support to me and not once have I ever felt alone or not supported and at the same time, I think the harmony between us has been due to the fact that I didn’t overload him with all my thoughts and emotions.

Men don’t get the privilege to know what its like to carry a life inside of them, and their ability to process what is going on will be very different to what we are going through and to expect them to understand us completely is unrealistic and unfair.

For me, the fact that he is there when I cry for no reason and lets me know everything will be ok is enough for me.

You will get days where it all gets too much and you just need to cry and as long as your partner is there to support you and be there for you, then for me, it has helped me through those times more than he can imagine.

Just knowing I’m not going through this alone makes me relaxed and have such a peaceful pregnancy.

Now sex is another topic that every pregnant couple will go through and every experience will be different.

For me personally, the first trimester sex was a bit off and on as due to my morning sickness and tiredness, there were times where I couldn’t get the energy to want to and my partner during my pregnancy only let me instigate as he would never want to come across pushy in regards to sex while I’m pregnant.

When the second trimester came around, I was feeling great and our sex life went back on track. Then I started showing more and more and my partner started to feel uncomfortable about having sex with me.

At first I cried about it thinking he wasn’t attracted to me and my own insecurities started popping up but when I had a good talk with my partner about it, I came to understand where he was coming from.

I put myself in his position and having sex with a pregnant women is not exactly a hot fantasy that every man has. I know there are men out there who are attracted to pregnant women and that’s great but I also know there are men out there who see a pregnant women as going through an extraordinary time in their life and doesn’t necessarily see it as a sexual thing and therefore I can respect what my partner was feeling.

He sees me as going through something very miraculous and special in his eyes and its like he didn’t want to disturb the process or been seen to “sexualise” me during this time.

And again, every couple is different because many times it’s the women who do not want to have sex due to feeling unattractive or tired but for me, I was more than happy to continue with our sex life but after our chat and reassurance that my partner thinks I’m gorgeous and attractive, then I respected the way he felt and tried to put myself in his head space.

Regardless of the sex, I do feel like this pregnancy has brought me and my partner closer together more than any other experience we have been through together so far.

During the pregnancy, there will be decisions that need to be made and disagreements may come up, but remember that you are both working towards bringing a life into this world and that everything will sort itself out one way or another.

My own experience has been fantastic and I can only hope that you also have a harmonious experience with your other half during this time in your life. Always remember that these are moments and experiences you will never be able to re-create so look at the bigger picture and leave the petty arguments aside.


Pregnancy Diary and Memory Book

Dear Diary

One thing that I can highly highly recommend you start doing when you find out you are pregnant is starting a pregnancy diary. Whether its online or the old fashioned way *cough cough I did pen and paper*, it’s an amazing time in your life to jot down all your feelings and thoughts about being pregnant for the first time ever.

Things that your body goes through, your emotions, your thoughts – I just think its so healthy to have an avenue to jot all those things down.

Sometimes you think you are the only one who feels those things or thinks those things, but for me personally, jotting down those thoughts helped me in not going over and over the same things in my head.

At first I tried to look for a specific pregnancy diary and had a look online and at Dymocks. There are pregnancy diaries out there but I think they are so restrictive on how much you can write and what you want to write, so I decided to head to Kikki.k (secret obsession of mine) and see if I could find something that would meet my needs. I found a great notebook that had a ribbon to hold my place and really just lined paper and it was in a baby pink leathery look cover and all it said was Notes on the front. Loved it. I think from memory it was RRP $29.95 so I proceeded to purchase it.

Now this diary is just a pregnancy diary, not a diary to jot down what you do on a day by day basis. You can obviously run the diary as you like but I restricted myself to just talking about pregnancy and anything pregnancy related or else I would deviate into talking about mundane things plus I didn’t want this diary to be a burden. I wanted to just open it up, write a page about how I feel or emotions or things that have happened and then continue with the rest of my day.

Sometimes I think people burden themselves when they think “Dear Diary” in that they have to jot down or retell what has happened that day. I didn’t want to do that as a) I don’t have the time and b) I wanted this diary to solely focus on my pregnancy.

My entries are usually a page or 2 long, no longer than that (unless I really feel the need to). I then close my diary until the next day.

It may be the little things you want to remember down the track and also if you wanted to give it to your son or daughter to read some day.

The other thing that I would also recommend in starting up is a Pregnancy Memory Book. This came off the back of all the scans I was getting back from my ultrasound appointments. I didn’t know what to do with them! I didn’t want to just leave them in the envelopes as I know if I did I would lose them or it would just sit behind the cupboard and I wanted to be able to keep these scans as memories so I decided to start my own memory book! Now I’m not creative by any means so all I purchased was the following:

  • Baby scrapbook album from Spotlight


  • Double sided tape from The Reject Shop RRP $2 – this is great given that I didn’t want to glue the scans down and using Blu Tack doesn’t look that great. This way the scans don’t get damaged but look good when they are stuck to the album

Photo sticker


  • Stickers from The Reject Shop RRP $2 per pack – I wanted to make the album look as cute possible or else it would just have scans in it, so I bought stickers such as that below and some other baby related stickers and proceeded to use them to decorate each page. Just made it look more like a baby book and much cuter


  • Texta packet from The Reject Shop RRP $3 – again I wanted to inject a bit of colour in the album to contrast the black and white scans so when I made a memory entry, I would write it in a different colour on each page. Again just made the memory book look cuter and more baby/child like


The below is the first page of my memory book to give you an example of how mine looked like and how I set it out


Apart from the ultrasounds and reports that I have included in my memory book, I have also included the games and cards I received from my baby shower in which I will go into more details on a separate post, but also a great way to keep the beautiful cards you would get from your baby shower which sometimes you just don’t find a place to store them.

This album will be for bub to read and look over one day. I think it’s amazing to be able to see yourself as a tiny scan inside your mother so I’m sure he/she will appreciate and love looking over themselves as a tiny speck in mummy’s tummy one day.

Second trimester bliss

Second trimester

So hopefully by the 13th or 14th week your morning sickness has past.

For myself I was 13.5 weeks in when then nausea stopped and the tiredness also went away. I was so relieved and happy once that part was over.

I found it tough to work and feel sick and tired everyday. It also drained my weekends.

The other wonderful thing that happens is that you can start telling people the fantastic news! A lot of people still wait until the 12 week mark or after they get their results from the Down Syndrome and Spina Bifida test to tell people.

I was one who did want to wait until I knew everything was great with baby before I let my friends and extended family know. The only people we told straight away was our parents.

I have a friend of a friend who is 5 weeks behind me and decided to tell people before the tests results came back. Her test results came back in the high range of Down Syndrome and she then had to go through further procedures and tests. Whilst she was going through this torment, people around her kept on congratulating her on the baby. It was a horrible experience to go through and she had wished she had waited until after the results before she announced the news.

Thank goodness that after further testing the baby is ok.

So these three months are really the best. Most days I woke up and forgot I was pregnant!

The most exciting aspect of the second trimester is that you finally get to feel the baby kick. It was one of the most extraordinary experiences I can’t even describe. The moment when you actually feel a little life inside of you. No words can describe.

Most women feel their babies start kicking in the 18th-20th week.

I have an anterior placenta (which is not the norm but its nothing dangerous). This means that the placenta is sitting in the front of my stomach as opposed to the back. This meant that it created like a cushioning between the baby and my own belly so it took me a bit longer before I felt my baby kicks. It was the 21st week before I felt the ever so little flutters in my tummy. I wasn’t sure if it was my stomach rumbling or if it was the baby and then finally I knew it was the baby when I felt the repetitive light taps and when my partner was able to feel it, it was such a gorgeous moment for the both of us.

You also have your 20 week scan in the third trimester which is a big scan that in that you can see your baby much clearer, they take measurements of all your baby’s body parts and organs, ensure baby is ok and some ultrasound places give you the option to take a DVD home of this (once again, think about whether this is worth the extra cost).

This is the time to do all the running around you need to do for the baby because come the third trimester, you’re not going to really want to.

Don’t think it’s too early to start shopping for the baby. I started at 4 months and I’m so glad I did because I think I would be really stressed trying to buy things now.

There is so much out there that its overwhelming. We visited every baby store in Sydney so a lot of weekends consumed as well as researching.

Enjoy your second trimester! It’s a beautiful time to see your belly grow, enjoy life, see things differently, the world looks like a different place now that you know you will be bringing a life into this world.

Public vs Private


So by 8-10 weeks it is recommended that you choose whether you will go public or private for your pregnancy.

Now for many women this might not even be a choice because you may not have health insurance to cover you for pregnancy.

I also was quite clueless on my private health insurance but luckily I had a colleague at work who talked me through private health insurance and private care during pregnancy or else I think I would have no clue and also would not be in a position in choosing.

12 Months Waiting

  1. I’m not sure how it works in other countries, but in Australia, you can not make a claim on pregnancy unless you have been with the private health insurer for 12 months or more. So its not like you can fall pregnant and then sign up to private health insurance. You need to be with your insurer well before you fall pregnant.
  2. You also need to check what level of pregnancy cover you get! From looking on my side, it seems you have to get top hospital cover to be able to be covered for pregnancy at all the private hospitals. Some health insurance have basic level pregnancy cover, which only covers you for a private room in a public hospital and that’s about it.

Now please keep in mind that Australia as many would know have one of the best public healthcare systems in the world especially when it comes to mothers and their babies. Also the care at many of the public hospitals from what I hear is fantastic.

Like I say, everyone has their own cicumstances to think of.

Going private is definetly more expensive.

I have a more detailed expense breakdown as I have been keeping count on our expenses related to going private. Below is a breakdown (rough. If you want an exact number just ask me and I’m happy to add it up until now):

  • c$160 per month for private health insurance
  • $200 for the initial obstetrician visit
  • $100 for all follow up visits (this could be 10-12 visits all up)
  • $4,000 plan maangement fee (now this amount varies per doctor. Anywhere between $3,000-$7,000)
  • $200-$300 for ultrasounds (usually 3 throughout the pregnancy)
  • $70 per day in hospital co-payment (this was an option in my health cover that I took up to reduce my premiums)

Now I’m not taking into account what you get back from Medicare, but you do get money back from the OB visits, plan management fee and ultrasounds.

Just as an indication, rough estimates below:

  • On OB visits I was initially getting $40 back but then you hit a threshold which means you get more money back and after I paid the plan management fee, I started getting nearly $75 back on each OB visit
  • I got $500 back on the plan management fee
  • My last ultrasound cost me $209 and I got back $140 from Medicare but that’s because I have hit the threshold. Previous ultrasounds I got back less.

Some advice on ultrasounds. My OB would give me a referral to a certain ultrasound place but you can take that referral to any place that does the required ultrasound and they will accept it. The place my OB referred me to was charging $300+ per ultrasound. I rang around a couple of places in Sydney and found Bondi Junction X-Ray who charge $100 less!

You might get caught up paying more at these other places as well because they can make a DVD out of your ultrasound. In my mind, I don’t know when I will put a DVD in to watch my baby in my womb. I would rather be watching videos of my baby once they are out.

Me and my partner are middle income household earners so we tried to be as mindful as possible with the costs and what is necessary and what is just a waste.

Tip: The excitement of a new baby tends to send mums especially first time mums into spending overdrive! You think you need everything for this baby. A tip from someone who has and is going through this, I always think twice and take a moment before I consider buying whatever it is and always always think this “could this money be better spent on something else for the baby such as education, sports, music leassons or general savings for the baby?”. If you answer yes to this question, then put the product down and walk away.

So you might be asking “Why did you go private?”. My reasons are below. Again keep in mind of your own personal circumstances and do your own research to help you along:

  • My personaility type is that I am a very anxious person and I internalise this anxiousness and being a first time mum, I knew I needed peace of mind. Knowing that I had the same obstetrician seeing me every visit and who will be there for the labour and make the right decisions was important for me to be calm and in peace. This is one thing that is super important during your pregnancy. Stress free and peaceful
  • With my obstetrician I am able to see my baby every time I saw him as he had an ultrasound machine. This has been an amazing experience and I was so excited for my OB visits so I could see our baby, record him/her moving around, hear their heart beat (it still makes me well up in tears when I hear it) and again peace of mind of being able to see that baby is ok! I would tend to think bad things during my pregnancy so the anxiety was pretty bad and especially because you don’t get to feel your baby kick usually until your 4 months or more, so those first 4 months of being able to see and hear baby were so important to me
  • If you go private, you have the option to have an elective cesearean or go natural. In the public system, this option is not available to you unless you have a health problem that would require a c-section. When I fell pregnant I could not decide whether I wanted a c-section or go natural so having the option to go either way was again important for peace of mind (I will go into further details on what I have decided on doing for my birth)
  • Public hospitals are not inclined to wanting to do c-sections purely because it costs more money to have a c-section, not only the actual operation but recovery time is longer than natural and therefore take up more beds longer which means a lot of women who go public will have to go natural and if labour is long, then the hospital will encourage you to keep on carrying on with the labour. One colleague of mine was in labour for 22 hours before they decided to take her in for an emergency c-section. Again, I don’t want to be in a situation where I am not only putting stress on my body but also my baby just because I need to go natural. My OB and myself can agree at what point in time we need to go in for a c-section and having a professional who knows my history gives me assurance that he knows what to do when the time comes.
  • Being my first time going through labour, I wanted the privacy to recover on my own in my own room. In the public system, you are expected to share rooms unless you have a serious condition during or after labour, but the majority of people have to share. With private, you will get your own room if you deliver in a private hospital. You can go private in a public hospital but they still can’t guarantee you a private room which for me defeats the purpose.

Those are some of the reasons that I can think of at the top of my head, but again I want to reiterate that not every couple is in a financial position to be able to go private and to those I say that again, our health system is one of the best in the world and the public health system will look after you and the baby as need be.

For others that can afford to go private, then weigh up the pros and cons. We sat down and went over the numbers but the pros for me and my partner was the fact that I would be in a more peaceful state of mind (which I have been) and stress free when it comes to the baby’s development (again I can vouch for this).

It was also very important for my partner that I have peace of mind so he did not mind paying what we had to pay to achieve this.

In saying that, if everything goes smoothly with this baby, then I’m not sure if I would go private a 2nd time round. Reason being is that my state of mind might be different in that I hope I’m not as anxious second time round as I would already know what to expect but who knows. Will have to wait and see when the time comes.


The reason

You are pregnant!

I have never blogged in my life but my mindset changed when I fell pregnant.

I am 31 years old. My partner is 34 years old. I have been with my partner for 2 years when we found out we were pregnant.

We had planned to try and get pregnant but thought it would take time because of the fact that I had been on the pill for years and something that I always have heard is that if you have been on the pill for years, then its harder to conceive. That myth I can vouch for is a complete lie! I got off the pill thinking it would take about 6 months to get pregnant but at my very next cycle I fell pregnant!

So much so that I actually didn’t find out I was pregnant until I was already 8 weeks pregnant! When my period didn’t come when it was due I thought it was because of my body trying to get back into a normal/natural cycle and therefore might have been delayed but when 2 months went by…well then I knew something was up…

A bit of background on me. I have always been a career focused woman. I have worked in the Finance industry my entire career and well motherhood is not something that the industry particularly embraces. Its very much a man’s world. When I fell pregnant I was half way through the semester doing my Masters! I have worked since I was 15 years old, vehemently independent and career driven.

I began this blog because I was in a position where a) I have a lot of good friends who are very similar to me in that they have their careers, very independent and not one of them have had kids yet and mind you, I am probably one of the youngest ones in my group of friends b) I am an only child.

Therefore zero experience of being around kids.

In fact when I think about it, when I fell pregnant, I don’t think I’ve ever held a baby in my arms and I have never attended a baby shower in my life.

I was completely lost when I found out I was pregnant. My one saving grace is my mother and thank god she is here to help me but so much has changed in pregnancy and parenting in 31 years that even she gets overwhelmed by all the different choices we women have when it comes to being pregnant and having children.

I am writing this blog for the first time mum’s out there who also feel like I do. Stepping into a new world blindly and trying to find your way through.

Keep in mind that I am no expert whatsoever! I have had to find things out my own way or researched things along the way.

I haven’t been able to find a one stop shop when it comes to help for a first time mum. I found myself spending so much time trying to figure things out for myself that I thought a blog like this would have been so helpful to me at the time.

I intend to address all issues and questions in relation to pregnancy and especially being a first time mum. No topic left untouched. Pregnancy weight, private vs public, what to buy, money, relationships, friendships, sex…no topic left unturned.

I also want this blog to be driven by you the reader so please feel free to ask me any questions or issues and I will address it on my blog.

Hopefully you will enjoy the ride as much as I have been so far and if this blog can help in the slightest…then I would know its been worth it